(500) days of pretentious crap (albeit with a few cute moments)

The following is an semi-incoherent stream of consciousness about the condescending film I saw last night:

Cliched voiceover right off the freakin top!! “This is a story of boy meets girl, but it is not a love story.” BARF. Ugh! Can movies these days please stop ripping off Amelie poorly, please? What? Kareoke? Ikea? Did the writers (aka market researchers) aggregate data from a couple thousand 20-something suburban hipster facebook profiles and make a movie incorporating all of the “ironic” activities they like (+ music)? Belle & Sebastien in her high school yearbook!! That’s everybody’s go-to cool indie band name-drop. Ohh!! She likes Ringo and things nobody else likes! That’s so alternative!! I like things cause no one else likes them too! Are you kidding me? So… I see we are still not past Feist’s Mushaboom… Also what is with this irrational romantic fascination with architects??? AND would a real architect draw pictures of buildings on someone’s arm as an inspiration? Would a real architect relate to that shit?? I’m actually curious. And what’s so bad about greeting card companies anyway??? They are really all that evil and we’re going to pick on them as the scourge of humanity, but we love Ikea and architecture so much? And was that family in Ikea actually Chinese, specifically like he said? Nothing even happened in this movie!! Nothing at all happened!! Remember how you felt about Garden State and you thought it spoke to you and now you realize it was the most consumerist, condescending piece of crap you ever saw three times in the theatre? This is the same. Both of these movies were just a bunch of hackneyed moments, forced together to get people to buy into the idea that everybody who likes this movie, soundtrack, and the stuff they sell in the movie is so indie and different. The younger, “wiser-than-her-years” (ugh so many cliches!) sister said it best: “Just because somebody likes the same bizarro things as you doesn’t mean they’re your soulmate.” This movie is not my soulmate just because I think Zooey Deschanel dresses cool, rides a bicycle, and loves the Smiths. She sits in cool coffee shops and reads! Wow!! We’re like totally the same person!! I relate to this movie soooo much like it’s about me! That being said, I actually really really really loved the one dance scene and thought the choreography was excellent. That’s actually true. Sorry, if you like it and hope you’re not offended! I think it’s cool if you are into this movie, a lot of my friends who I love and respect thought it was really awesome and I also like a lot of things that most people hate I’m sure. I just didn’t like this one… obviously.

drawing in a moleskine

Fractured pictures of a beautiful girl with bangs behind sensitive boy drawing in a journal. *sigh*  It’s just like my life…